Sing halelulyah and do the chicken dance!

I believe that life is about learning the difference between right and wrong; trying and quitting, winning and failing, gaining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure and tradgedy in a person’s life is as abundant and necessary as succeeding and love. There are no lives that at some time do not experience loss of some kind. The lessons we learn from losses are every bit as valuable as those we learn from success, just not as emotionally pleasing. Yet each is a step which brings us confidence to take the next one and each brings with it a little happiness.

When we discover a small spark of joy somewhere within, that small spark will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistakes and telling yourself “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame, perseverence power, that can spread out like a brush fire. But if you keep questioning life and repeating to yourself that it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." Unknown "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself." Ralph Waldo Emerson

A wave of gratitude and acceptance.

One of my first boyfriends once said that “loving means accepting.”  He said it because he thought I failed to accept him with all his faults and he was right, I was looking for the perfect person and was way less than perfect myself. For the thought also applies to oneself. To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ton of courage to look for and to discover ways to improve ourselves and recover from our faults and setbacks.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults you step another increment closer to happiness. This will teach you to be patient and forgiving of other's imperfections. For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back. Genuine happiness is born out of gratitude and acceptance. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you have – truly, you begin to feel genuinely happy.

This doesn't mean, be content with little and do not strive to acheive. It means enjoy what you have and reach out for more. Imagine life as a big score board like those used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you score points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmuring “Geez, I didn’t even get a score today. I wish I had the guts to take a risk. We could have won! We were so much better!” and then walking away mumbling and grumbling.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award and earning the highest bonus or having the best looking partner although these are all fun things. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life don’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest nor even to the best.  I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve your quality of life and your happiness, whether it is cleaning up your room, saying you love someone, helping a friend, visiting someone who's hit a bad patch, playing with your dog, failing exams and trying again; life gives you equivalence points for that.

Every one has his or her own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as many best selling books as is possible or it may be when a reader expresses their enjoyment of a story. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award or the firm frienships he has with team mates. Happiness for a homeless person may mean a decent meal or the freedom he has from social restrictions. Happiness for a business man may mean the ability to send his kids to a private school or being able to give back to his community.What pleases someone is always a personal thing and whether you choose what pleases you or what pleases someone you love, both choices will win happiness for you

You don’t have to have the best things in this world as long as you're working to have that which you truly want. You don't have to be the best at what you do, its more about doing it well and enjoying doing it. When you get knocked down and you possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you feel competent and strong. When you listen to other people and make an effort to get to know them you will be respected for your consideration. You don't have to be the coolest dude or the most wealthy citizen, you just have to be yourself.

Then when you smile and say "Good Morning" to people, and they answer "Beautiful day isn't it?", you might suddenly notice that it is a good morning, the sky is blue, the sun is shining and you have a genuine smile on your face. How happy is that?

Again, throw me that question “how to be genuinely happy?”. Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. What most of us don’t realise is that the best kind of laughter is laughter at yourself. That it is totally in your hands to control. When you start getting broody and miserable, shake your feathers and shout "hallelulyah", do the chicken dance and make people laugh - and then laugh at yourself. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.

By JA Francis